SMOSH EXPEDITION: The Rainbow Lollipop (Book Five)
by MiGZ21
Summary: Their discovery of the Golden Flamingo didn't go unnoticed. Ian, Anthony, Sidney, Billy and Charlie were hailed by the press for their magnificent find. Now, they must once again must embark on a new expedition when an anonymous villain forces them to look for The Rainbow Lollipop through a deal they couldn't refuse. Join them for the FIFTH TIME!
1. Intro Book Five: MORE EPIC EXPEDITIONS

**SMOSH EXPEDITION: The Rainbow Lollipop**

 _ **Their discovery of the Golden Flamingo didn't go unnoticed. Ian, Anthony, Sidney, Billy and Charlie were hailed by the press for their magnificent find, they are currently at the top of their game. But things aren't always going well since they've become more famous, more projects here and there which have crammed up their schedule, giving them less time for their personal lives.**_

 _ **When things couldn't get any worse, it did.**_

 _ **The duo, along with Billy & Charlie, once again must embark on a new expedition as an anonymous villain had forced them to look for The Rainbow Lollipop through a deal they couldn't refuse.**_

 _ **For the fifth time, tag along with these dorks as they go on wilder adventures!**_

* * *

Well, I never thought I'd say this: Ian and Anthony are back for their _**FIFTH ADVENTURE**_. However, this _**will not**_ mess with the near-perfect **SMOSH (BLANK) TIME TRILOGY** story arc I wrote nearly two years ago. As confusing as it sounds, this is sequentially my _**fifth**_ book but the _**second**_ in the **SMOSH EXPEDITION TRILOGY.**

More things are at stake, the new bad guy is has them caught in a deal where they couldn't turn down. They must search for a treasure that the villain wants:

THE RAINBOW LOLLIPOP.

 **Will they be able to find the lollipop in time?**

 **Will they find Pam & Miel in time?**

 **Will Ian ever stop hitting himself in the head? (He probably won't.)**

So read on! Enjoy, and be ready, more twists and turns are coming your way in this book and the sixth!


	2. Chapter One - The Great Explorers

**Lan Hecocks**

It was near the end of August, summer had ended and fall is about to start. We were filled with countless projects, starting with the development of a second, full-length, Smosh movie. Last night saw the premiere of our much-awaited _Smosh Live_ special event, where we performed in front of a live studio audience. Even though we were now working twice as hard, things became more exciting since November of last year.

Nine months had passed since we discovered the _Golden Flamingo._

It was a treasure that no one thought actually existed. A mysterious artifact that no one but us dared to look for. It was pretty much a race against time to get it.

That was months behind us now, but still, out discovery earned publicity in the media. They recognized it as one of the greatest finds of the decade. All five of us, Anthony, Billy, Charlie, Sidney, and I were packed with schedules of guest interviews.

 _Tonight is the night_. It took a while for all of it to be set, it was the grand unveiling of the exhibit of the golden flamingo in the Los Angeles Museum. I stood in front of the mirror, fitting my brown coat. It was a little tight around the shoulder since I've been working out a lot.

 _Wow, total narcissism, Ian_.

I inhaled, sucking in my belly trying to button my coat close, "Come on!" I grunted, "I only wore you a few months ago!"

"What's wrong?" A soft voice spoke. I looked at my reflection and saw a woman appear behind me, she had dark hair as short as my own, a pair of large glasses on her nose, thin but toned built, and a comforting smile. She was wearing dark blue jeans matched with a pink shirt, _Pamela_.

"I c-can't seem to get this son of a bitch close!" I struggled, looking down coat.

"You're doing it wrong." Pam laughed, "Here, let me help you." She stepped closer, grabbing my hand and pulling the ends together. She grunted, also struggling to get those buttons to close. "Wow, this thing really doesn't fit you."

"I know." I bowed my head and turned around, "I think I'm getting fat again."

"Wait, I think I know what the problem is." Pam giggled. She then held on my collar then took off the coat entirely. "Because it's _my_ coat."

My eyes widened, "Oh, then where's mine?"

"It's just right there." She pointed to a brown coat on a hanger hanging near the mirror. She took it and removed the hanger, "Here, turn around and I'll put it on you."

I did what I was told and turned around as I felt Pam's hands pull up the sleeve up my arm, "You sure you're not coming with me to the exhibit?"

"You know I'd love to, babe, but I have a lot of homework to do and I mean a lot, I'll just stay here for a bit more with Daisy and I'll be heading back to my apartment later." Pam said, while dusting the back of my coat, "I promise I'll make it up to you later, you and I will have the night to ourselves."

"Great!" I said with much enthusiasm, reaching for the black necktie draped on the mirror, "Uh, Pam?" I squeaked.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"Could you please help me with this?" I showed her the tie by raising it just above my shoulder.

She scoffed, taking the tie from my hand, "Alright, you big goofball, come here."

I sheepishly turned around, blushing in embarrassment that a guy like me couldn't do a necktie. When I finally faced her, she wrapped it around my neck and gently knotted it before looking at me, "There, you look..."

"Dorky." I said, straitening the creases on my outfit.

Pam remained speechless, looking awestruck as we looked into each other's eyes. She beamed at me, unable to control her smile as her lips slowly curved into one. "No..." She breathed. "-handsome."

I felt her palm gently caress my cheek, running it against my beard then holding the back of my neck. My heart leapt to my throat upon seeing her slowly lean in. I did the same, smirking while doing it. Her breath brushed against my lips sending chills down my spine. As the distance between us grew smaller, I closed my eyes and waited for the blissful moment to come.

Then my phone rang.

We jumped back and I fished my phone out of my pocket, frustrated that our moment was cut short. I groaned and checked who was calling. It was Anthony.

 _Way to ruin the moment, dick._

I answered it, "Hello?" I said in the most annoyed tone, "I'm in the middle of something here!"

" _Ian, we need to go now! The grand unveiling is in thirty minutes!_ " Anthony said.

There was a loud honking of horn down below my apartment.

I rolled my eyes then glanced at Pamela who was holding back laughter, "I'll be right there in a few minutes."

" _Hurry up, we don't have much time!_ "

I just scoffed, "I'm on my way."

" _Hurry up or you'll walk all the way there._ "

"Yes boss." I walked towards the door before stopping. I turned around, Pamela was standing a few feet behind me smiling at me with her hands on her waist. I ran back and dipped her before kissing her in the lips.

She kissed back, running her hair through my hair before pulling away after a few seconds, "Hey, Romeo, your time's running out." She giggled.

"You sure you can go home by yourself?" I helped her stand.

"I'm a grown-ass woman, Hecox." She laughed, "Now go, Anthony might've left by now."

"Nah, he won't leave without me." I said.

" _I will in about ten seconds._ " Anthony spoke from my phone, turned out I hadn't hung up on him yet.

"Holy shit! Bye, babe! I'll come by your place after the party!" I kissed her cheek then walked to my German Shepard dog who was looking up at me with her tail wagging, "Bye, Daisy!" I pat her head before making my way towards the door.

"IAN! WAIT!" Pamela screamed.

I jumped and looked back at her, "What?!" I asked, yelling back.

"You forgot your pants." She pointed to my legs.

I looked down saw my hairy legs, "GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!" I ran back to my room, snatched my brown pants before running out of my apartment and going down the stairs.

 _So the 'losing my pants joke' is a running gag now, huh?_

After a long way down seven floors, I dashed out of the main door catching my breath, "I-I sh-should've taken the fucking e-elevator." I gasped.

Anthony was waiting on the other side of the street in his car, glaring at me with his head resting on his hand bored outta his ass. He was wearing his royal blue coat over his grey button up shirt with matching polka dot necktie.

"Finally!" He groaned.

I ran across the street and went to the passenger side, "Sorry, dude." I hopped in his car.

"Would it kill you to move a little faster?" Anthony sighed.

"I had a little _wardrobe malfunction_."

He just rolled his eyes and started the car. The engine roared the second Anthony pushed the gas pedal with his foot, "Buckle up, this ride's gonna get bumpy."

"Why do we always say that?" I wrinkled my forehead.

My friend shook his head and released the handbrake. We zoomed out of the spot, with me whiplashing against the seat.

Then Anthony stopped, I ended up smacking my head on the dashboard, "Why did you stop?!"

"We're here!" He said, looking behind me.

I glanced out my window, and there was the _Los Angeles Museum of National History_.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

There were a lot of cars parked on the lot, a surprising sight for the usually empty space that would only be occupied by school buses used for field trips. There were news vans as well. We stepped out of the car and hurriedly ran to the entrance where above it was a huge banner:

THE GOLDEN FLAMINGO: The Find of the Century

"Guys!" Billy yelled from behind us. He was running to us wearing a red coat in the shade of his traditional Pokemon shirt over his white shirt and black tie, his hair was parted to one side but was covered by his beloved propeller hat. "We're here!"

Charlie stuck his head out of Billy's chest pocket who has a cute little black bow around his neck, "Just in time."

"Why, don't you look dashing, you old goof." I remarked.

"Thanks." Billy chuckled.

"All set?" Anthony asked and we nodded, "Let's go."

We walked to the entrance, looking up at the banner and smiling, reminiscing those events, those crazy run-ins with the squad and the villain. Anthony exhaled, "Wow, here we are. The grand reveal of the treasure that caused us all the mayhem a few months ago."

"Yeah. But it was worth it, now you have Miel." I said. Anthony now calls Sidney as Miel, it was her childhood name that he found adorable. Also, they've been dating since then.

He smirked, "Yeah, speaking of which, where is she? She said she'd meet us up front." Anthony reached for his phone, "Oh, I just got a text from her."

"What did she say?"

"She's calling in sick today," Anthony's jaw dropped, "She can't be, she gotta make a speech for the unveiling!"

"Can't we just skip it?" I shrugged.

"Her speech is the most important part of the ceremony."

"Why don't we make the speech ourselves?"

Anthony glared at me, "How can you make a speech in less that ten minutes?"

"We'll wing it." I looked away, "Besides, it's just a little speech, right?"

"Yeah!" Billy cheered, "Only you'll be delivering the speech in front of classy people and will be televised all over the world which they'll witness how bad you'll mess up the words." He smiled.

"Thanks for the tip, Billy." I glared at the boy.

* * *

Bright flashes of light engulfed us accompanied with loud camera shutters. I held a wide smile, fixing my brown necktie making it a little loose, dumb thing's been choking me for quite a while now. The guards surrounded us, forming a barricade to keep out the reporters who were hungry to get their scoop of our story.

"Smile and wave, guys." Anthony mumbled as we walked on a carpeted floor that leads to the center of the museum, the main lobby.

"What are we? Zoo penguins?" I retaliated.

"I'm trying to make a subtle reference, you ding dong." He said through gritted teeth.

"I love _Penguins of Madagascar_!" Billy jumped.

Anthony rubbed his face with his palm, "Forget it."

The lobby was packed with people sitting on chairs that were facing the huge dinosaur skeleton at the center where there was a stage built there. On the stage were five vacant seats that had pieces of paper with names that I think was ours.

" _'Lan Hecocks'_?! Seriously?!" I sighed in frustration, "How could they mispell my name?!"

" _'Billy Hamsandwich'_... I kinda like it." The boy grinned.

"Consider yourselves lucky, mine says _'Anthong Padodo'_." Anthony groaned.

"It sounds like a species of flightless birds." Charlie guffawed, "At least they got my name right."

"And Miel's." My friend added.

"Mr. Hecocks? Mr. Padodo?" A man asked who was behind us. We turned around and it was the assistant curator of the museum, "I'm Jack Hoffman," He extended out a hand.

Billy whispered to my ear, "His name's funny."

I tried not to laugh as I shook hands, "It's a pleasure, Jack Hoffman." I snickered, "it's _Ian Hecox_ with an x."

"I kinda like my last name." Billy tilted his head, looking back at the seats, "But it's _Hamburger,_ Although Hamsandwich is a good one."

Anthony then shook hands with him as well, "And the name's Padilla, _Anthony Padilla_. Not Anthong Padodo." He laughed.

Jack looked at the seat and gasped, "Oh God! I'm so sorry for misspelling your names! I'll get to it right away!" He ran up the stage with a black permanent marker and changed our name labels. He moved away for us to see the changes:

 _IAN HECOX_

 _BILLY HAMBURGER_

 _ANDTHEKNEE PUDDYA_

Anthony rolled his eyes, "Close enough."

The rest of us roared in laughter.

Jack then led us up the stage and to our seats, "Okay, so we're about start, and if you'll excuse me, I'll have a word with the other coordinators." He said politely before going down.

We kept still as the bright spotlights shone and all eyes were on us, waiting for the event to begin. Anthony stared at the empty chair beside him which was Miel's chair, sighing.

"Mr. Padilla, where's Ms. Ackerman?" Jack asked.

"She's not feeling today, she may not be able to make it." Anthony frowned, staring at the text message Miel sent.

"Oh, well I hope she gets well soon." Ed frowned as well, "Good luck with the speech later, guys!" He said, walking to the rostrum just beside the platform.

"Thanks." Anthony and I exchanged looks, both of us having the same reaction: _We're fucked_.

"What are we gonna do, Ian?" My friend leaned over to me whispering.

"I have no idea." I whispered back.

" _Good evening, Everyone! I'm Jack Hoffman,_ " He said, and the crowd grinned, holding back laughter, _"the assistant curator of the Los Angeles Museum of National History."_ Jack's voice blasted from the speakers, " _Tonight is one very special evening, it's a grand revelation of a treasure buried beneath the earth for centuries, a treasure believed to be just a myth, a treasu-_ "

"Get on with it, you dumb poof!" Charlie blurted out.

He shrunk and laughed sheepishly, " _Alright._ " He gestured at the center where a small hatch opened and a wooden table rose up to the surface that was covered with a red velvet cloth. The man beamed at us, " _I think the people behind the discovery would like to have a little speech before we have the grand unveiling, right?_ "

"I'll pass?" Anthony chimed having a weak smirk.

" _Surely there's something you'd like to say to the audience here, right?_ "

"Uh, no, we're good." I trembled. Then I felt Anthony's foot press against my ass and kick me off the seat. I fell to the ground with a loud thud and heard the crowd giggle, "Fine. I'll do it."

I stood up and dusted off my coat, awkwardly walking towards the rostrum feeling all eyes following me.

" _Uh, hello? Is this thing on?_ " My voice echoed in the lobby, earning another laugh from the audience. I took a deep breath and just let the words flow through my mouth, " _So, on behalf of Ms. Miel Ackerman who sadly couldn't make it tonight, I would like to thank my friends, Miel, Charlie, Anthony, and Billy, for this one of a kind expedition aside from the great Battle of Smosh-_ " I glanced at my friends and winked at them, "- _I thought The Golden Flamingo was just a myth, created by some crazy fan who wanted us to go on an expedition... but I was wrong, and it was fun searching for it, even though it nearly cost my best friend's life."_ I beamed at Anthony who was grinning.

My friend stood up and joined me taking the microphone from the stand, " _This was a crazy find, ladies and gentlemen, it was one hell of a ride, can you believe that we sorta made out underwater?"_

The audience gasped.

I shoved Anthony away, " _TMI, bro, heh. It's a long story, we dove down Echo park lake to retrieve the key, and Anthony here, who doesn't have the lung power, ran out of air."_ I explained, " _I mean, come on, what would you do if your friend was drowning?_ "

They nodded in agreement and laughed.

" _Now, my dear friends,_ " Anthony and I said together "- _The Golden Flamingo!"_

We gestured to the exhibit at the center as the cloth was pulled away revealing a solid gold flamingo with black diamonds for its eyes inside a glass box. It shimmered, making the audience stare in awe and amazement, all of them were looking at the flamingo and began taking pictures of it.

The four of us smiled at each other, seeing our discovery being showcased after almost a year. We stepped down the stage, with the crowd congratulating us, they surrounded us like swarms of bees, saying words we couldn't clearly understand because of the noise.

* * *

 **Well, hello there, friends! Nice to know you're reading this _fifth book_ of the Epic Smosh Saga. I never thought that I'd reach this far in the crazy world of Smosh! So... What do you think of a the very first chapter of The Rainbow Lollipop? I hope you guys are still enjoying the books, especially those who were with me since 2014, the year I began writing on this site.**

 **More smoshy twist and turns to come, be ready!**

 **-Migz**


	3. Chapter Two - Missing You

**Anthong Padodo**

Ian and I reunited at the center, "So, how's your night going?" He asked

"I'm not feeling like myself today, maybe because Miel's not here." I frowned.

"Go to her, my child." He smiled, gesturing me to go squeezing my shoulder, "Go and have fun. I'll probably go to Pam's right after I have me a big meal."

"See ya tomorrow, Ian." I waved goodbye before leaving.

I went out of the museum, twirling my car keys around my finger while walking to my car, whistling some off-key tunes I could think of. The night was cold, but my coat was enough to keep me warm and the thought of spending the night with Miel was enough to keep me ecstatic and ignore the cold.

Before leaving, I texted her saying that I'd swing by her place and spend the night there, and so I could nurse her back to health, like she did to me the time when a lightsaber almost sliced my back open. Looking back makes me feel glad that we took on the job, or else I wouldn't have met her in the first place and I'd still be in my room digging in a huge tub of _Ben & Jerry's_ ice cream confused about what I should do with my life.

 _Enough of that though_.

A few minutes of driving later, I stopped by her apartment which was a few blocks from my own, bringing with me a bag filled with snacks I bought from the nearby store. I went into the elevator and went six stories up, where Miel's apartment was.

When I finally reached her door, I fixed my necktie and cleared my throat, feeling like a classy gentleman. I knocked on her door, "Hello? Is this the house of the lovely _Ms. Miel Bredouw Ackerman_? You have a special delivery." I said in the deepest voice I could ever produce.

But there was no answer, I didn't even hear any signs of footsteps approaching the door.

"Miel?" I knocked again, "It's Anthony."

Still no answer.

"I guess that means I'll let myself in." I took out my car keys and with those was a small key, it was a spare of Miel's house keys that she entrusted me with. I pushed the door open and saw that the lights in the living room were on, and so was the TV, "Miel? Where are you?" I chuckled, "Are we playing hide and seek again?"

Miel would always do that to me, and often catches me off guard. She tend to hide for a quick while then jump from places I'd least expect.

Only the noise from the TV was heard playing _Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade_. I slowly treaded towards the living room and grabbed the nearest pillow on the sofa, arming myself.

Then I advanced towards the kitchen, "Oh, are you in-" I jumped out, "-here?!" I yelled, but there was no one in the kitchen. On her dinner table were a bunch of old books and an ancient scroll beside it.

I scoffed, "Planning another expedition, are we?" I said, hoping that Miel would hear me wherever she was hiding. I approached the table to have a little peek of what she's been planning, reaching for the scroll and unrolling it. The dust from the paper spread out in a form of smoke, making me sneeze.

It was an image a rather familiar object that was made of a rainbow-colored candy that was wrapped around a stick until it formed a kind of candy that most people would easily recognize. And below it was a text:

THE RAINBOW LOLLIPOP

"So you _are_ planning to go on a trip!" I said eagerly, flipping through the pages of the first book I took from the stack and reading some few lines. "' _The Rainbow Lollipop is a wand that is said to be able to cast magic and turn anything into a flamingo. It is one of ten ancient weapons that were used by a legendary warrior who fought battles in the early fifth century.'_ " I read, "Wow, this one's pretty tempting."

I flipped to another page, "' _The last known location of the lollipop was rumored to be under the city of Los Angeles, California where it waits to be discovered. Currently, there are no known maps that could lead to it._ " I read aloud, "This is gonna be tougher than the first one if we're gonna look for it." I sighed, closing the book and picking another one.

I turned to the first page, "'' _The Golden Flamingo_ '." I raised an eyebrow, "I see you're also flashing through the old stuff, eh?" I said, but still, no one, not even a mumble was heard.

Also on top was a small framed picture of Miel and I when we took a trip to Tulum, Mexico during the _Cinco de Mayo festival._ It was a picture of us with the deep blue sea background. I was looking directly at the camera with a wide smile while Miel kissed my cheek with a smirk on her face, her blonde hair flowing with the wind.

My girlfriend had changed her once vibrant scarlet red hair into a more normal, blonde hair. However, I have to say, it made her even beautiful because it made her bluish-green eyes stand out more.

Sweet memories.

I smiled at the photo, wondering what more adventures await us when suddenly, there was a sound of scratching coming from Miel's bedroom, "Miel?" I called out, walking towards the door, "Is that you?" I silently tiptoed to the room being as quiet as I could and using the noise of the TV to mask my movements.

I took of my coat then rolled up my sleeve while I drew nearer, my hands digging inside my pocket taking out my large-ass phone. Then I bent down on one knee and reached for my sock where a small pencil-length hilt of my rock candy lightsaber was concealed.

Gripping the hilt tightly with my hands, I pressed the small button igniting the green glowing blade that shone against my face as I held it closer. "Babe? Are you in there?"

The scratches continued, and Miel was still nowhere to be found.

 _I have a bad feeling about this_.

My heart raced, nervousness building up inside me as I reached for the door and shoved it open. A small dog scampered outside and hid between my legs cowering in fear. It was Miel's dog Tracy.

"Hey Tracy," I picked her up and held her in my arms letting her lick my chin. Tracy was trembling, "What's wrong?" I held her up and looked at her puppy eyes.

Only to notice a small orange dart on her neck _._

I gasped, pulling it out from her neck which she yelped. I examined the dart in my hand and recognized it as one of the darts Ian and I used before.

"Holy shit - MIEL!" I screamed, kicking open the door and turning on the lights, but found no one inside. My thoughts dwelled on fear and paranoia, thinking that someone might've broken in her place. A sound of running water came from the bathroom, and it made me even more paranoid.

 _Oh God, please don't turn out for the worst_.

"Miel, please don't scare me like this." I nervously joked, keeping positive even though what was happening was the exact opposite.

I barged into the bathroom and discovered it flooded, someone left the faucet running and flooded the bathtub. To my relief, I found no body there. My head throbbed in fear, still worried where Miel was at.

Then my phone suddenly rang, making me jump and drop it on the floor squealing like a little girl. Ian was calling.

I picked it up from the ground, "Hello?"

" _Anthony_!" Ian screamed from the other line, his tone really terrified.

"What is it, Ian?" I replied, trying to be calm and collected but inside I was nervous as fuck.

" _I-I_..." he mumbled sounding like he was in the verge of tears.

"This better not be a prank or I swear to God I'll kill you." I said.

" _I... can't find Pam. She's not in her apartment!"_ Ian was panicking.

The horror struck me, my jaw dropped and so did my phone... again. _Curse me and my sweaty fingers._

"Do you happen to find an orange dart?" I said, picking up my phone.

Ian sniffed, " _H-How d-did y-you know?_ "

"Because I can't find Miel either."

" _What the fuck is going on?!"_ My friend exclaimed, " _Are you saying that our girls had been kidnapped?!_ "

"I think so."

" _Sh-should we call the cops?_ "

"I guess we should. I-I'm gonna call you back later after I call them."

" _I'm gonna try and call them too_."

"Okay." I hung up.

I rushed to the door when my phone rang again making me jolt. It was Miel. I sighed in relief and answered it, "Babe! Thank God, I-I was so worried-"

" _Hello, Anthony_." A deep male voice replied, sending chills down my spine.

"Who is this? What have you done with Miel?" I balled my hand into a fist.

" _Miel's doing fine... for the meantime."_ The sinister voice laughed.

"What the fuck do you mean 'for the meantime'?!"

" _If you want to see Miel again and not encased in chocolate you better listen carefully."_

I huffed, anger flowing through my veins, "I-I'm l-listening."

" _I'm gonna make an offer you and your boyfriend can't refuse_."

"That was a perfect _Godfather_ reference, but the boyfriend thing messed it up." I rolled my eyes, "Seriously? People are still onto this ianthony stuff?"

" _You can't stop the ianthony fanbase from growing, Anthony. Look around you, even this story makes references to it._ "

I shrugged, "It won't be Smosh without it, to be honest."

" _Why the hell are we talking about this anyway?_ "

"It's just a satirical reference to the fanbase, you'll get used to it."

" _Enough!"_

My phone vibrated. It was a snap from _Mielmonster_. I put the phone on speaker, "This better not be a dick pic."

" _I'm not a pervert, you bumbling idiot!"_ The man yelled.

"What? I was just making sure, unsolicited dick pics can get someone killed, like Shayne's ugly-ass dick pic that murdered my friends."

" _Just look at it!_ " The voice groaned in anger.

I opened the snap, it was an eight-second video of Miel bound to a chair unconscious with a gag in her mouth, sitting on a chair at the center of the empty room.

"MIEL!" I gasped, "If you do anything, I swear I'll-"

The man cackled, " _Now, let's get back to business. No cops or she gets dunked in molten chocolate_."

"Mmm... chocolate."

" _HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!_ "

"I think so." I shook my head and cleared my throat.

" _Gather up your expedition crew, I've got a new quest for you_."


	4. Chapter Three - The Offer

**Billy Hamburger**

It was one tiring day, Charlie and I had just gotten home from the grand unveiling of the Golden Flamingo back at the museum. Ian and Anthony left right after the speech while we stayed behind a bit more and enjoyed the food served to us.

As of now, we're staying at an apartment here in L. A. for a month so we could film Smosh stuff without the long seven-hour drive from Sacramento, and be there for the unveiling of the museum exhibit.

I slumped on the couch and loosened my necktie, my body feeling like jelly from exhaustion. My pet was loudly snoring on the armrest, knocked out by the booze he had consumed. I glanced at the clock, it was five minutes past eleven in the evening.

 _Way past my bedtime_.

"Billy?" My mom's voice echoed from the hall, "Is that you?"

"Yeah, mom. I'm home." I lazily replied, my eyelids slowly closing. _Hello darkness, my old friend._

"Are you with your brother?" She asked.

"Nope."

"I told him to go pick you up at the museum."

"What?"

"I told him go and fetch you. Brent told me he texted you before leaving."

I took out my phone and turned on the display, "He didn't send me a- yes he did, how come I didn't receive it earlier?"

"Maybe because you put his message notification on silent because he kept on sending you weird _trypophobic_ images?" Charlie interjected, yawning.

"Oh yeah, Brent always likes to do that." I scoffed, "Where is he then?"

"You tell me, you were supposed to wait for him there." My mom replied.

I stood up, "I'll go look for him, ma."

"Alright, stay safe." She said before closing the door and heading off to bed.

Charlie, who was shaken awake by my sudden movement, rolled from the armrest down to the soft couch, "Are you really gonna look for him?"

A sudden thought of doubt formed in my head, "I think so."

"After all he's done to you? For bullying you all these years?"

"He's my brother, Charlie, and he's not that bad." I shrugged.

"He convinced you to run away from home!"

I rubbed my chin, "Indeed he had, but we felt we were free," my lips slowly curved into a smile, "He told me that _No more parents, no more rules. Yeah nice try, mom, but I ain't no fool_." I took a breath, " _No more bathtime, no more hugs and if I feel like it I will crap on the rug_." I tapped my foot, " _No more, mommy no more dad, finally I can wear that skanky top that I had_!"

"But youwere _eating shards of glass!_ " Charlie interrupted.

" _Because I don't give a fuck_!" I sassed.

"You _shoot your squirtees in the air_."

" _And scream PARENTS SUCK_!" I cheered, remembering the moments we had.

"Okay, did we just quote that four year old song?" The guinea pig raised an eyebrow.

"It was one catchy song, though. It was fun when my brother and I wrote it." I recalled, exhaling from my nose, "Let's go find that emo brother of mine."

"He's no longer emo, you chopped his hair off last time and it never grew the same way again."

I guffawed, "Whatever."

In the the brief moment silence, my phone suddenly rang. _Speak of the Devil_ , it's my brother calling.

"Hey, Brent." I greeted.

" _Hello, Billy_." A deep and kinda sultry voice spoke, he was definitely not Brent.

"Uh, heya! Who is this?"

" _It doesn't matter_."

"Ooh! Is this a game of Guess Who?" I jumped.

" _I don't even know what that game is._ " He said, " _The question isn't who I am, it's 'who's with me?'_ "

Right on queue, my phone vibrated again. It was a Snapchat from Brent. It showed a picture of my brother bound to a chair with rope with his mouth taped. His head was tipped to one side, he was unconscious.

"NO! What did you do to him?!" I yelled.

"What's going on, boy?" Charlie asked, climbing to my shoulder. I showed him the picture and his eyes widened.

" _I haven't done anything... yet._ " He snickered evilly.

I put the phone on speaker, "What are you gonna do to him?"

" _Nothing. Maybe dunk him in chocolate._ "

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad." I licked my lips, imagining myself being covered in chocolate.

"Are you crazy, Billy?!" Charlie exclaimed, "No one wants a _Brent-flavored chocolate statue_ , it'll taste all bitter and emo. "

I shrugged, "Hmm, true."

" _HEY! ARE YOU TWO EVEN LISTENING_?!" The mysterious man bellowed from the other line.

"What do you want?" I shouted back.

" _I want you to get something for me_."

"Dude, if this is about stealing crack or booze, Charlie has a whole stash of them right here."

"HEY!" Charlie interjected, "I only have blue meth!"

"Oh, you're Goddamn right, Charlie." I smirked.

" _No! You idiots are completely missing the point here!_ " The man groaned, " _and I thought you guys were the best archaeologists in town!_ "

"Hey, we said we're _the best_ in town," The guinea pig said, beaming at me, "-not the smartest."

"HEY!" I hissed.

" _Shut the fuck up, you two! God, why are all four of you so dumb?_ "

"Well, I was dropped on my head when I was born, Charlie's a drunk personified guinea pig, Ian's an immature man-child, and Anthony's still dealing with his emo past."

" _E-fucking-nough! Just go and meet up with your explorer friends and I'll call you soon_." He sighed before hanging up.

"Wow, that guy has some serious issues." I huffed. My phone suddenly went off again, it was a text from Anthony, "Ian and Anthony wants us to meet them at the office. Now."

"I feel another expedition coming." Charlie shook his head and sighed in disbelief.

* * *

The night was calm as we flew to the office using my propeller hat, soaring high up in the sky seeing the lights of the houses and buildings illuminate the night sky. It was almost midnight, the time of sleep and rest to prepare for the next day, but here we are making our way to the office.

By the time we had reached the office, Sgt. Anous, who was the night guard, was standing beside the back doors guarding them. It was the only entrance open at that time since it was supposed to be closed for the night.

The policeman spotted us and greeted, "Heya Billy! You boys back at it again?"

Charlie smiled, "I think so, heh." He said.

"Ian and Anthony are waiting for you two up in the office." Sgt. Anous said.

"Thanks, Anous, for letting us in." I said gladly, "Nowadays, it's hard to get past you."

The cop basted loudly, "Yes, that's me, Anous is tight when guarding the backdoor for intruders, especially dicks who want to get in from behind. But for friends, Anous loosens up a little to let them in."

"Well, I have to admit, Anous is doing a good job keeping shit out." Charlie praised.

We exchanged smiles before heading off, going to the fifth floor where the main Smosh office was. The hallway was dimly lit, and it was silent, only the voices of people talking in the distance coming from the office. Upon reaching the door, I pressed my ear against it, listening for the people inside. It was Ian and Anthony. I knocked and waited for them to answer it.

"It's open." Ian said.

I gently pushed it to let Charlie and I inside. "I believe we have a problem." I mumbled, shutting the door behind me.

"Yes, and a very big one too." Ian said, leading me to the table where his friend was.

Anthony was looking down at the table where there as a desk lamp shining on scattered sheets of paper and three old books. "This was left on Miel's desk." Anthony glanced at us.

All of a sudden, my phone rang.

"Who's that?" Charlie asked, looking over my shoulder as I took out my phone.

"It's an unknown number." I said upon seeing the caller ID.

"Maybe it's the guy who called us earlier, he told me he'd call us." Ian shrugged.

I answered it and put it on speaker for everyone to hear, "Hello?"

" _Hello, Mr. Hamburger, this is Lucy from your local Pharmacy. I'm calling to let you know that the suppositories you ordered are available for purchase._ "

My eyes widened and darted to Ian and Anthony who were trying their best not to laugh. "Wh-what? S-suppositories?"

" _Yeah, the kind of medicine that goes up the butt."_

"I-I d-didn't order."

" _Yeah you did, it says here in the list._ "

"Bye." I hung up and shakily placed my phone back in my pocket before nervously glancing at the two men, "I-I..."

Ian held a hand up, "It's not my business." He scoffed while rubbing the bridge of his nose.

My phone rang again. It was a different number.

I placed my phone next to my ear, "Hello, you better not be my subscription to the _Women's Health magazine_." I spoke.

" _No, this is the kidnapper_." The familiar voice replied.

I sighed loudly in relief, putting it again on speaker, "At last. Okay, the four of us are here, ready to listen to your demands." I said lazily, tired from the party earlier.

" _Finally the gang's back together!"_ The man cheered sinisterly, " _Now, let's proceed._ " All of us surrounded the phone, listening carefully, " _Our deal is perfectly simple, do as I say and your loved ones will be safe._ "

"I don't really consider Brent as a loved one." Charlie replied, "A frenemy to say the least."

" _Whatever, just do it!_ "

"Don't let your dreams be dreams!" Ian blurted out, "Sorry! Can't help myself."

" _Step outta line and these people get it._ "

"Just get on with it, will ya?" Anthony rolled his eyes, showing signs of annoyance, "It's all too cliché, we get that you'll hurt them if we don't comply, just please get to the point so we could get this over with."

" _Very well then, you guys did a great job finding the Golden Flamingo, am I right? This job isn't any different, all you have to do is to find The Rainbow Lollipop._ "

"The what now?" Ian wrinkled his forehead.

"Over here, guys." Anthony gestured for us to join him at the table, he opened one of the books, flipping to the title page, " _The Rainbow Lollipop,_ it's the real version of the lollipop wand we designed in our _Food Battle game_ two years ago." He recalled, pointing to the image on the next page.

"Is that the weapon that was hard to obtain?" Ian asked.

"I remember that!" I butted in, "And it can turn anything into pink lawn flamingoes?"

"Yes and yes, and finding it in real life isn't easy as well. No one knows where it is, it's only stated that it's buried under Los Angeles."

" _That's it, boys_." The man said, we had almost forgotten that he was listening.

"How can we find it? We don't even know where to start!" Charlie yelled furiously.

" _You guys figured out how to find The Flamingo, right? You can definitely figure this out._ " He said before hanging up.

Silence followed. All of us looked at each other searching for answers and thinking up of a plan. We were stumped. Anthony sat on the chair and ran his fingers through his thick curly hair, letting out a frustrated groan. Ian approached his friend and placed his hand on his shoulder, sighing.

"Don't worry, man. Your pal, Ian here has a plan." He said.

Anthony's eyes twinkled with hope, "Your half baked plans never cease to amaze me, bro. Tell us."

"Yeah, tell us what's happening beneath that trimmed down bowl haircut of yours." The guinea pig said.

"Now, there's obviously a fifty-fifty percent chance we'll be able to find that lollipop since there's no known location to it." He sat in on the table swinging his legs playfully, "We do what the man wants, and begin searching for it..."

"Okay?" Anthony raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Speak of the devil, they're here. I knew we could count on them." Ian leapt from the table and ran to the door and pulled it open. There was a blonde-haired woman who had a wide smile on her face, with her were four other people: a thin and sickly bespectacled man, a muscular dude with ginger hair, a wide eyed black dude, and a cute dark haired asian woman.

It was the entire Smosh Squad.

Anthony was blown back in surprise, "How-?" He stuttered but had a smile on his face.

"Ian told us." Courtney winked.

"They said they're happy to help." Ian grinned, walking back to his friend, "As I was saying, we go search for it, and the squad will track down where he's keeping our girls and Billy's brother hostage."

"How can they?"

"Noah's sorta good with the computer stuff, I believe he could possibly pinpoint the location." Ian replied eagerly, "I have complete and utter faith in them. They had our backs with the search for the flamingo last time."

"I believe in them too." I spoke up, hugging Courtney playfully.

"So do I." Anthony nodded in agreement, "You guys up for the task?"

"Of course we are!" Olivia cheered, "and besides, it'll be another adventure with my friends." She put her arms around Noah and Shayne.

"Just to be clear, what will you guys do while we're doing our job?" Shayne asked politely.

"We'll begin looking for the treasure!" I said cheerfully, raising my hands up like a cheerleader.

"And you'll begin looking for it where?"

I kept my positive attitude and hands raised, "We have no idea!"

"We'll find a way eventually, heh." Ian said. The squad was eager on their new mission, it was evident in their faces.

"Alright, now with the plan set," Anthony clapped his hands once and turned to Ian, "Ian, I believe it's time to put on the Indiana Jones outfit again."


	5. Chapter Four - Return to the Museum

**Anthony Padilla**

Ian's words pumped adrenaline throughout my system. It was gonna be another fun and life-threatening adventure, another break from our daily and busy lives. I looked back into his cheerful face, and smiled happily, like it was contagious. Ian was holding out his hand for a handshake.

"Hells yeah." I replied, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.

Ian glanced at the others, "Grab your gears and we meet back here after an hour." He instructed.

The squad nodded their heads and went out the room going to the Smoffice while the rest of us went to the storage room where we kept our outfits.

"Ian?" I spoke up as we walked along the corridor.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"I have the strangest feeling that we should begin looking at the museum. I'm absolutely sure Miel has more books there that could help us."

"Good plan, bro." He gave a thumbs up, pushing open the door of our closet. "Alright, time to suit up."

Ian and I wore our traditional Indiana Jones outfit: the old dusty fedora, brown leather jacket over a white shirt, and along with it was a brown khaki pants. Billy had changed out of his old red Pokémon shirt that had the ' _Bring it on_!' text into a somehow similar red shirt but had a simpler _Pikachu_ print, it was the exact same shirt he wore during our ' _Super Virgin Squad_ ' video shoot. And Charlie, he's still naked.

The three of us had a brown satchel that would be containing our personal effects. I shuffled through the clothesline and parted the clothes away to reveal an uneven surface on the wall, a small gap between the concrete wall and a wooden panel. It was a small hidden compartment. I pulled it open, and inside was a huge duffel bag.

"Huh, so that's the place where you keep it?" Ian scoffed, looking surprised.

"Yeah, I like to make it all mysterious and shit." I shrugged, taking the bag from its hiding place before placing the cover back into place. "Everyone all set?" I glanced at Billy then at Ian.

"Yeah." My best friend replied.

"Let's go."

We met the squad back at the office where we saw Noah hauling a large bag. They were waiting for further instructions. "Wow, you guys have never been this prepared." Ian remarked.

I laughed, "Over here, you guys," I placed the duffel bag on the table. The five people gathered around me, "Since this is another one of the writer's wild adventures, there's bound to be crazy, over the top fight scenes. So we need to be prepared." I unzipped the bag and upon seeing what was inside, it made my heart leapt with pure joy, "Wow, I can't believe we've kept this in there for a while."

Inside were the weapons from _Food Battle: The Game_ that we last used two years ago in _The Battle of Smosh._

"As always, I get the Gummy Whip." I pulled out a long blue and red gummy snake and hung it on my belt.

Ian smiled, "We can trust you with these, right?" He looked at the group.

"Of course." Olivia said firmly.

"Fine then." I took out a long and sharp _Celery Sword_ and held it in my hand, observing the length of the blade as I gently ran my fingers along the edge, "Olivia, take this." I handed it to her, "So you'll be like a _Samurai_."

"I'm Chinese, you racist prick!" She chuckled, taking the sword.

"Courtney," I beamed at the blonde girl with the twinkling green eyes, "You get this." I handed her the _Churro Blaster,_ "Shower the enemies with cinnamon."

"Wow." She said in amazement, taking a lick of barrel, "Mmm, cinnamon-y."

"Noah, here's the _Egg Roll Hammer._ " Ian said, taping out the huge and heavy weapon from the bag.

The bespectacled man rolled his eyes and tried lifting the thing, "Oh sure, let the thinnest member of the squad c-c-carry the b-biggest weapon. Fucking cliché." He dragged the thing along with him, "I can feel my bones breaking."

"Ooh! What's this?" Keith picked up the _Taquito Gun_ , "Hey, Noah! Say cheese!" He aimed it at his friend and pulled the trigger.

We all screamed as a blast of sticky mass shot out of the barrel and into Noah's face, blasting him from where he stood and sticking him on the wall behind him.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" Shayne screamed.

"I dunno, because I want to?" The wide-eyed man shrugged.

"Get Noah down from there." I said. Keith rushed over to help his friend.

"I'll take the _Chili Flamethrower._ " Shayne pulled it out from the duffel bag, "Because it's hot, just like my rock hard Viner abs."

Courtney guffawed, "You? Hot? Puh-lease."

"Okay, you guys take the remaining stuff with you, just in case." I handed the bag to Courtney, "Now with everything set, we start moving at dawn."

"Uh, guys?" Keith stuttered, calling our attention. We turned around and saw Keith stuck to the wall on top of Noah. "A little help? Please?"

"How the fuck did you two end up like that?!"

* * *

It was eight in the morning, the time when the L. A. Museum opens its doors for visitors. We went outside to our vehicles, the squad getting onto a minivan while Ian, Billy, Charlie, and I were to in Ian's car. The four of us went to the squad's van for some final checks.

"So how can you track the calls?" Ian asked.

Noah furrowed his brows, "I had already linked all of your phones to my laptop so when the kidnapper calls, a signal will be sent to my laptop and you guys know the rest."

"It's time to go, Anthony. The museum's about to open." Ian said, jangling the car keys in his hand.

With a smile, I glanced at the five, "Well, here we go again." I bid goodbye before walking back with my friend to his car where Billy and Charlie were waiting.

I sat beside my friend who took the wheel, shuffling through the pages of the book about the treasure. I read the first pages, "This doesn't make any sense, it's like it's written in Sanskrit with all the fancy words and shit." I whined.

"Sometimes books don't make a whole lotta sense, take a look at _Twilight._ I don't even understand the basic plot of it, a dog and a sparkly vampire fighting over a whiny girl."

"True." I shrugged.

We all stayed silent for the rest of the twenty-minute trip. Upon our arrival, we immediately hopped out of the car and rushed to the entrance, beating a group of schoolchildren to it. The lobby still had traces of the party last night, with the janitor rolling up a banner that was hanging on the ceiling previously.

I led the way, making a left turn right after reaching the center leading us to a hallway. Only a few people were roaming the place, most of them were students, yawning their way through the exhibits guided by a tour guide.

"Miel's office is on the third floor, right? Ian asked.

"Yeah." I replied, noticing that to our right was the newly-unveiled exhibit for the Golden Flamingo, it was where the treasure was placed right after we had delivered our speech.

"Anyone has a flask filled with booze?" Charlie interrupted, "My tastebuds are craving for them."

I glared at the guinea pig that was on Billy's shoulder, "We don't have time for th-" I suddenly bumped into someone. "Ow, sorry, mister." I apologized, taking a step back to look at the person.

The man was almost the same height as me but was wider and muscular. He had a huge smile on his face, his small Asian eyes squinting behind a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. What made him more recognizable was his hair which was in a brushed up style with the top of it colored bright red.

 _Markiplier_.

"Heya, guys! Nice seeing you four here!" Mark greeted, chuckling.

"Hey Mark!" Ian greeted, reaching out to high five him, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I wanna check on the new artifact called _The Golden Flamingo_ that's causing a lot if buzz all over the internet." Mark cleared his throat, rolling up his sleeve. "I somehow find it quite interesting, I'm a guy who loves history and ancient treasures." He gave a cheerful smirk as he chewed on the small red rock around his neck like a kid.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to his necklace.

He spat out the small rock, "Oh this?" He asked, pointing to it, "This is a rock candy necklace I bought from the store a few blocks from here. It tastes pretty good, mmm... strawberry." He licked the rock that made us feel awkward.

"Can I have a taste?" Billy asked shyly, earning a disgusted look from us.

"Sorry, this one's all mine, and I'm not gonna share my saliva with you." Mark stuck his tongue out playfully at the boy.

The boy frowned.

Mark glanced past my shoulder and spotted the attraction that we had just passed by moments earlier, "There it is!" He went past us and looked at the flamingo, astonishment etched across his face. "Congrats on the find, you guys."

"Thanks, who knew it actually existed?" I scoffed.

The man laughed, observing us from head to toe, "W-wait... are you guys going on another expedition?" He scratched his beard, "Because there's no cosplay event happening in LA that I know of, so that means you are!"

"I think so." I shrugged.

"What are you guys looking for?" He tilted his head with curiosity.

"It's called ' _The Rainbow Lollipop_ '." Billy said.

"Nice. So, where are you guys heading now?" He asked, showing eagerness in his tone running his hand through his red hair.

"We don't know yet. Hell, we don't even know how to begin the search." Ian rubbed the back of his neck.

"Wow, that's a shitty situation."

"Trust me," Ian smirked, "I've been through situations shittier than this. Have you encountered an exploding toilet?"

Mark's face just contorted in confusion and focused his attention to the exhibit.

"How about using the golden flamingo?" He said with much uncertainty in his tone.

"What?" My eyes widened in surprise.

"It is said that it has a special power, it will grant the person their heart's desire in the times of dire need."

"How did you know that?!" Ian and I said surprised.

"It says here in the description." He pointed to the small pedestal that had the details of the artifact.

"Mark's right." Charlie said, "Miel _did_ mention during our very first meeting that it can do that. You two were just too busy drooling while staring at her."

Ian and I both were flushed with embarrassment.

"Let's take it." Ian said, pointing to the shimmering yellow-gold lawn flamingo resting on top of its own pedestal.

"You can't just get that thing, Jack Hoffman will be furious!"

"His name sounds so wrong." Mark shook his head, trying to hold back his laughter.

"I know, right?!" Billy said.

"We have to try it, man." Ian added, "The lives of the love of our lives depend on it. Jeez, that's a mouthful, 'The lives of the love of our lives'."

"We better think of a plan before you get your tongue twisted." I tapped his shoulder, snapping him out from his trance.

"Uh, guys? If you'll excuse me, I need to go back home. I gotta get prepared for _PAX West 2016_ that's in a few days." Mark awkwardly interrupted, trying his best not to be rude.

"Oh yeah, sure," Ian smiled, "It's great seeing you here, Mark."

"It's great to see you guys too." He waved goodbye, "Buh-byeeee!" Mark then turned around and walked towards the exit disappearing into the crowd making their way in.

I paced around, scratching my imaginary beard that'll never grow the way I want it to be ( _curse my Filipino genes_ ), thinking of the best foolproof plan to take the flamingo without attracting the attention of the others. My eyes darted around the place, observing where the guards were stationed, eventually spotting them seated in the center of the lobby a few ways from us, and they were also busy entertaining guests.

"Billy," I spoke up, "That hat of yours can still fly, right?"

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You fly over there and take the flamingo and replace it with this." I said, pulling a gold spray painted plastic lawn flamingo.

"Where did you get that?" Ian asked, "It wasn't with you a few moments ago."

"I took it from Stevie's heist kit." I shrugged, "It also comes with the small laser pen."

"Go up there and take it, we'll watch your back." I instructed, making another check to see if the coast was clear, "Okay, go."

Billy nodded, switched on his hat before kicking off the ground. The boy was in the air and was now hovering above the pedestal, with the fake flamingo clutched in his hands.

"Be careful, I've seen a lot of movies to know that there are sensors in there." Charlie warned.

Then I heard footsteps from around the corner at the end of the hall, "Hurry up, I hear someone coming!"

The boy just swiftly snatched the treasure from its resting place and quickly replaced it with the plastic one. All of us gasped in that moment, fearing that we'd trigger an alarm. But luckily, there was none. Billy wiped the sweat from his forehead and sighed in relief, still levitating above the spot.

"That was a close one." He said, holding out the heavy solid gold treasure in his hands.

Suddenly, it slipped from his grasp.

"NO!" I mouthed, watching the flamingo fall down. I jumped up to catch it, reaching out my hands to intercept it mid-air.

The second my hand touched the golden flamingo, I was engulfed by a white light. The next thing I knew was I was levitating among the clouds. Unable to move as images flashed in my head.

I saw the entire ground of _Sarcramento Primrose Park_ shake and crack as a huge fissure break it into two large halves.

Then it went away, I found myself traveling through a dark and dimly lit tunnel.

Another scenario flashed, in front of me was a large stone tablet with ancient markings.

"ANTHONY!" Ian's voice echoed, "ANTHONY!"

Water was splashed into my face. I bolted upright screaming.

"Anthony! It's alright!" Ian held both my struggling arms. I began to calm down, my heart going back to its slow rhythm.

"Are you okay, lad?" Charlie asked, who was on Billy's shoulder while the boy held the museum piece in his hands.

"What happened?" Ian asked worriedly, "You caught the flamingo and then blacked out suddenly."

I held my throbbing head, trying to rack my brain looking for answers regarding the terrifying images I had seen. "I don't know, dude. I saw the park back in Sacramento crumbling."

"What?" Ian narrowed his eyes, "So, like a vision?"

"I don't know."

"What the hell's going on here?!" Jack Hoffman came rushing to us, "Mr. Hecox, Mr. Padilla, Mr. Hamburger, what on earth happened? And why is the flamingo with you?!" He said shocked.

Ian helped me stand up, "We were just gonna borrow it, Miel and I are gonna study it more." I explained, hoping that he'd buy it.

"Well why didn't you say so? You could've just asked me instead of going through the trouble switching the real one with a knockoff." He laughed lightheartedly.

Ian and I exchanged looks, "You heard that, man? We could've just asked."


	6. Chapter Five - Squad Goals

**Courtney Miller**

We drove along a busy road, listening to whatever music played on the radio as Noah tracked the call made by the kidnapper last night. It was a slightly boring morning. Shayne was behind the wheel, I was on the passenger side while the others were in the back.

"Any signs?" Olivia sighed, boredom evidently felt in her tone.

"None at the moment." Noah replied, eyes glued to his monitor that displayed the map of Los Angeles where nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

All of us stayed silent for a few good minutes, listening to some beats while being interrupted by the constant beeping of the laptop. The heat of the summer slowly got into the van as the sun gradually rose up in the sky.

"What software are you using?" I asked, looking over my shoulder.

"Apple Maps."

The four of us cocked our heads in surprise, "Why on earth would you use the shittiest map application?"

"It's not shitty, it gets me to places easily." He defended.

"No wonder you're always late." Keith said flatly.

Noah huffed, "I'll prove to you that it's not shitty."

"I doubt it, plus, Siri's a murderous psychopath."

There was a ring from Noah's laptop, "I'm getting something." He looked at his laptop and so did the other two.

"It's a message." Olivia said, gasping in shock.

"What is it?" I asked, eagerly waiting for her reply like a curious child.

"Noah's book club meeting." She burst into laughter, "It's scheduled at 8:54 AM."

As if all hope in me was shattered, "Really? Book clubs?" I rolled my eyes.

Noah's eyebrows wrinkled, "What? We love discussing stories!"

Shayne scoffed, "Yeah, what kind of stories?"

The man shrunk in his seat and turned pale, " _T-twilight, t-the N-notebook, F-fifty Shades of Grey_... all that stuff, heh."

And the whole van was filled with roars of laughter.

The laptop made sounds again, but this time a beep louder than the previous, "I'M GETTING A SIGNAL NOW!" Noah blurted out and the noise was silenced, "The kidnapper's making a call to Ian's phone now."

"Where?" Shayne asked eagerly.

"We have to wait for it to load."

I slumped back on my seat, "Apple Maps, eh?"

"Stop mocking it!" He yelled.

"Fine."

"Here it is! It's coming from Downtown L.A., a small facility located along an alleyway."

"Wait, how long will the signal stay hot?" I asked.

Noah pushed back his glasses that slid down the bridge of his nose, "An hour at the most."

"Great, we have no time to lose." Shayne said, speeding up and taking the next left turn.

"It's gonna be a twenty minute drive given this heavy traffic, guys. But everyone suit up." I said, reaching for the churro blaster near the foot of my seat, "You'll never know what's gonna go down."

"I'm still not comfortable with my weapon." Noah awkwardly raised his hand, "Who the hell would let a thin guy like me wield a large hammer that's eight pounds heavier than me?"

"Ian and Anthony." Olivia shrugged, looking at him with a sarcastic grin.

He glared at her, "Of course."

"There's still a few more options in the bag, Noah. And you're free to choose." I responded with reassurance.

"But I kinda like smacking things with this hammer."

"Are you gonna pick a weapon or not?!" I said, my tone filled with anger.

He quivered in fear, avoiding my death stare, "O-on second th-thought, I like this thing."

"Then it's settled." I smirked, laying back on my seat watching the road up front.

The minutes passed by, even early in the morning the traffic was a bitch, every corner we turned we were greeted by cars. It felt endless, like we were never going to reach our destination. Until Shayne spoke up, finally snapping me out from my daydream.

"We're almost there." He said.

"And the good news is, the signal is still hot." Noah added.

Shayne drove into a narrow alley away from the busy streets of the city. The sunlight went away, the structures covering it as we traveled deeper into the passage. Soon enough, he came to a complete stop.

I turned around, "Everyone ready?" I asked, eyes darting from person to person seeing them gripping their weapons.

They all nodded.

"Okay. Noah, where is the place exactly?" I hopped over from the front seat to join them in the back.

The man opened his laptop, "It's right there," he replied, pointing out the front at a rusty old metal door a few feet from the van, "it's inside and right at the center of the compound." He then partially folded his laptop then turned on his large phone. It had the same display of the map and made the same annoying beeping sounds, "I managed to link the laptop to the app on my phone so I won't have to bring that big clunky thing everywhere."

"Boy, I'm telling you, Apple Maps is not trustworthy." Keith shook his head slowly.

"Would you guys please stop arguing about the app?!" Olivia interjected, stopping Noah from fighting back, "What matters is that it got us here."

"Could we just... focus on the matter at hand?" I said, running my fingers through my hair.

"Agreed." Noah replied gladly.

"We go in quietly, use the element of surprise." Shayne said, joining us.

The five of us approached the side door. I reached for the handle and slid it open letting the warm outside air brush against our faces. The putrid smell of the place almost made us barf, but we continued anyway.

Shayne led the way, holding the chili flamethrower in a position ready to incinerate enemies that would attack us. I reached for the knob and twisted it, making a loud creak as the back door slowly opened to reveal the interior. There was little light inside, but it was enough for us to see. The place was filled with stacked crates forming pillars and walls, pretty much like a maze.

"Stay together." I said softly, hearing our footsteps echo throughout the place.

"We're still a few ways from the spot." Noah informed, his bright phone screen reflected on his glasses.

There was a loud crackle followed by a bright red light. Keith had ignited a flare before dropping it on the ground. "So we don't lose our way back."

"Good thinking." I acknowledged.

"Any chance you find a light switch here?" Olivia asked, "This place is giving me the creeps."

Shayne scoffed, "And ruin the element of surprise? We're in a tension-filled situation here, and I don't wanna ruin the moment of us being all action heroes and shit."

He then stopped upon seeing a crate blocking our way, the other stacks formed a corner that turns right. We continued, following wherever the passage led us with Keith marking each and every turn with flares. It was eerily quiet, not a sound was heard from inside the compound except our own.

"Don't you think it's a little too quiet here?" Shayne whispered, "Pretty sure that this place should be crawling with henchmen."

I just shrugged, clueless of what was happening at that moment.

"Hello? Is someone there?!" A woman's voice cried. It was Miel's.

"It's Miel!" I yelled.

"Someone help me!" She cried.

Upon hearing her cries, we began running with Noah taking the lead as he had the map with him. All of us felt a sudden wave of relief, at first I thought we went there for nothing. Happiness was felt while we desperately searched for a way out of the maze to get to her.

"We're nearly there." Noah said.

"Miel!" Olivia bellowed.

"Someone please help me!" Miel exclaimed, "I'm tied to a chair and I don't know where I am."

"We're coming to get you!" Keith said.

At the end of the long passageway, we saw light shining down on a single chair, and on that chair was a person who had their hand tied behind her back and legs bound to the metal feet of it. We saw the dirty blonde hair flowing down her bowed head.

"Miel!" We all shouted.

"I'm here!" She replied.

I quickly reached for my phone to call Anthony but found out that there was no signal inside. "Shit." We reached her and I quickly went up front to look at her. "We're here now." I said happily, reaching for her chin to lift her head up.

But it wasn't Miel.

It was just a dummy dressed like her, and the yells were coming from a speaker from the its abdomen.

I gasped and took a step back, making the head of the dummy fall off the shoulders and to the ground.

"You killed Miel!" Keith screamed, eyes wide in shock showing genuine fear.

"That's not her, it's a dummy, dummy!" Olivia said, bending over to pick up the head.

"But where are they?!" I said out if breath, my mind still unable to process what had just unfolded.

Suddenly there was a loud buzz, " _You think Ian and Anthony can outsmart me_?" A distorted voice came from the speaker of the dummy, " _You think I'd forget about you guys?_ "

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Noah said in a deep, Batman voice, "I always wanted to say that." He mumbled.

" _All in good hands, Noah. I know those idiots would ask you idiots to search for my hostages_." He chuckled evilly, " _And for that, I have a gift for you five... think of it as a token of my appreciation for your efforts. Enjoy._ "

There was a rumble coming from the maze behind us. The hanging fluorescent lights began swinging violently, as if there was an earthquake. We then felt the ground beneath our feet tremble and saw the stacked crates shake. I beamed my flashlight on the top of the boxes and saw a monster crawling up.

It was a mutant _pink frosted sprinkled donut._

We prepared our weapons as more of them climbed up the wall like swarming ants. There were at least twenty of them, from small donut holes to large maple bar donuts. They were huge, like the ones Ian and Anthony fought before. The five of us had our backs pressed at the center watching the mutants form a circle around us, closing in preparing to attack.

Noah whimpered, "This is not fair, it's twenty against five!"

Olivia trembled, "This is a bad token of appreciation."

One donut snarled and almost scratched Keith with its claws, "N-Nice donut, nice delicious and murderous donut."

"So what now?" Shayne asked, his back pressed against mine.

"We fight." I said with much uncertainty.


	7. Chapter Six - Show Us the Way

**Ian Hecox**

Anthony sat on the bench in the lobby staring into nothingness, eyes blank and expressionless. It made me wonder why he passed out when he caught the golden flamingo in his hands, but more importantly, what happened to him when he was out.

"Dude?" I asked, taking a seat beside him, "Is everything okay?"

My friend shook his head, "What? Oh, nothing."

"Dude, you've been staring into space for five minutes and you're gonna tell me it's nothing?"

"What? No I wasn't." He defended.

"I mean literally, it looked like your eyes were focused at that space exhibit over there." I said, pointing to the section that had models of the planets and astronauts.

Anthony made a small chuckle.

"But kidding aside, I know something's up with you, bro." I parted my messy hair under my fedora, "And we've been friends for more than ten years. I know when there's something wrong."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "It's those visions I saw."

At first I was skeptical, but given the circumstances we're in, it's not crazy at all, "Alright, tell me."

Anthony rubbed his temples, "I saw the park back in Sacramento crumble, a large stone tablet with writings I can't understand, and a series of tunnels."

"Maybe it's a clue, maybe the flamingo already gave you directions for the lollipop." Billy immediately concluded.

"I dunno, man." Anthony shook his head as I squeezed his shoulder attempting to comfort him.

My phone suddenly rang. It was an unknown number.

"Hello?" I answered it.

" _I'm not interrupting your ianthony moment, am I? But your time is running out, you may already have figured out what the flamingo does, but you haven't begun the quest yet. I'm disappointed, Ian_." The kidnapper hissed.

"Don't you dare hurt them." I said.

" _Then you better start moving_." He said before the line went dead.

And immediately after, a text from Keith came. "It's a text from the guys, they said they got a signal from the call and are now tracking it." I read her message. "But we have to find that rainbow lollipop as well, we can't take any chances right now."

"Miel's quarters, now." Anthony asserted, standing up and leading the way to the elevator.

"What's the hurry?" Charlie asked.

"Time is running out." I replied.

"Miel's office has a lot of books we can use." Anthony replied, going first into the lift.

Once we had reached the office, Anthony locked the doors behind us. The place was the same as the last time we first set foot in it when we were attacked by the henchmen. On the table was a laid out map of the city of Los Angeles.

"I knew it." Anthony sighed, approaching the table, "Miel's been doing a lot of research behind my back." As we surrounded the map, Anthony took out two books from his satchel: The books on the flamingo and the lollipop. "Miel was able to uncover the connection between these two."

"It means she knew it all along?" Billy said, mouth agape.

"She knew that the Golden Flamingo will lead to the lollipop." I said, flipping through the pages of the books as Billy took out the flamingo from his bag and placed it on the table.

"Exactly."

"This kinda confuses me, bro. I mean, why make us find the treasure when the kidnapper already has Miel? Not that I want Miel to be coerced into looking for it."

"That's the point, _why us_?"

"The only probable reason I could come up with is that this has something to do with the Food Battle videos we do."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"How do we do this?" I broke the silence, glancing at the golden flamingo. "Do we have to chant some stupid phrases, or some weird interpretative dance?"

" _Hocus Pocus, Fishbones Chokus_!" Charlie exclaimed, " _Abrakadabra_?"

" _That Damn Neighborum?_ " Anthony followed.

" _Goldenium Flamingum_!" Billy added, " _Double Bubble Disco Queen..._ "

" _Head into the guillotine, skin as cool as Steve McQueen_..." Charlie chanted.

"... _Let me be your killer king._ " Anthony sang.

"Now, you three are just being ridiculous." I interrupted, "Alright, _discount Brendon Urie_ , let's get back to business."

"I had a vision that you have to go out in public wearing adult diapers only." Anthony smirked evilly.

"Ha fucking ha." I laughed, reaching for the flamingo.

Then I felt electric shocks coarse through my veins as a bright light surrounded me. The next thing I knew I was gliding in the air, flying over what looked like a city. Another flash of light, I was on the ground standing in front of a bent and partially destroyed signboard that said:

WELCOME  
TO  
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA

The hairs on my back stood on end as I slowly stepped to the side seeing the road leading to the city filled with fissures. I looked forward and my legs suddenly felt weak at the sight.

In the distance were the buildings of the city, burning and crumbling as dark smoke rose into the sky. The houses were destroyed, telephone poles were blocking the road and so were the trees. Chaos, pure chaos. It was like the end of the world.

 _No... no_... I thought, tears leaking from my eyes.

Then a loud, ear-splitting roar came from the city.

"IAN!" Anthony yelled. I opened my eyes and found myself lying on the ground with them surrounding me, "Are you alright?"

He help me sit up, but I was trembling, "I-I saw it, Anthony. I s-saw it too." Anthony's expression changed from concern to fear.

"What did you see?" Billy asked

"Chaos." I stood up. We went back to the map again, "Okay, so this thing will lead us the way." I reached for the flamingo once again, preparing myself for more trippy visions I'd get.

Nothing happened this time, to my surprise.

I sighed in relief and inspected the object, looking for buttons or panels that could reveal something interesting or that'll lead us to the location of the lollipop. "There must be some pockets here that could have hidden maps."

"Hold on a sec, dude." Anthony interrupted, reading from Miel's book, "It says here that it'll only work when you clear your mind from all the distractions and focus on the task at hand."

"I won't have a problem with that," Billy said, "There's nothing going on in my mind all the time."

"No truer words have been said." Charlie remarked.

"Put it on the center." Anthony said. I did what I was told and set it back on the table. "Now, empty your minds. Empty your minds of everything that doesn't have to do with-"

"Fine dining and breathing?" I joked.

"Oh, I love that episode! Is that the one when Squidward tried to impress Squilliam?" Billy grinned.

"Then his brain had a meltdown?" The guinea pig laughed.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" He slammed the book on the table.

"Okay, master." I bowed my head and closed my eyes.

"Focus, keep calm, make slow and steady breaths." Anthony instructed.

I inhaled through my nose and gradually let it out my mouth, feeling my heartbeat make a slower, calmer pace. Everyone was quiet, I could only hear the throbbing of my temples.

"Show us the way." Anthony whispered calmly. Through my closed eyelids, a bright shimmer of gold shone through them. I opened my eyes and saw the flamingo glowing brighter than before, almost as bright as the sun.

"Just to be clear, I'm not the only one seeing the flamingo glowing, right?" Charlie asked.

Anthony shook his head, "Nope, I see it too."

"Great, I was just making sure I wasn't too drunk." He said.

"It's working." I said in anticipation seeing the treasure shoot gold sparks from the tip of its beak onto the map beneath it. A large red dot magically appeared on the paper, showing what looked like the first location that would lead to the lollipop.

The flamingo then stopped glowing. Anthony and I leaned over to look at the spot where it left a mark.

"The _La Brea Tar Pits Museum_." I read.

"That's like, fifteen minutes from here." Charlie blurted out, "Let's go."

"Uh... guys?" Billy interrupted, who was staring at the surveillance cameras on Miel's office desk, "I think we may have to find a new way out of here."

I walked to him, "Why?"

"That guy with a funny name is coming up." The boy said worriedly. On the screen was Jack Hoffman going up the stairs and making his way to the office.

"Here." Anthony motioned for us to come to him, he was standing in front of a bookshelf. When we had joined him, he began pulling on random books.

"What, is there some sort of a secret cliché passageway behind that bookcase?" I rolled my eyes. There was a click, and the whole case swung open revealing a spiral staircase leading down. The three of us stood there with our mouths open.

"Let's go." My friend said, detracting his lightsaber to illuminate the way.

"Of course." I sighed, letting Billy and Charlie go first before shutting the door behind me. "Why are we doing this? I'm pretty sure Jack will be okay with us meddling with Miel's stuff, right?"

"Do you have any idea how cool it is to escape through a secret passageway? I mean, the idea alone is awesome." Anthony smirked.

"True." I smiled, lighting our backside with my blue lightsaber.

Suddenly, a door slammed at the bottom of the stairs followed by the sound of footsteps. "Shh... Quiet." My friend extinguished his sword and so did I, "Someone's coming up."

"Oh shit." I turned around and ran back up before bumping into something. It wasn't a wall since it was soft, and surprisingly, it was sticky. "Eww... gross!"

I lit up my weapon and shrieked upon seeing a towering pink frosted sprinkled donut mutant blocking the way.


	8. Chapter Seven - Donut Dilemma

**Shayne Topp**

We were surrounded by the life sized mutant donuts, their eyes glowing red and mouths drooling, dripping frosting on the ground. They hissed and roared as they advanced, further enclosing us at the center.

"Weapons out." I said, shaking my chili pepper flamethrower hearing the flammable liquid splash inside.

"Courtney, hold onto this." Olivia spoke, handing her a bandolier that had a dozen burrito bombs in it. She took it and wrapped it around her shoulder and tightened the strap.

Noah grunted, "If only I could lift this stupid hammer, that'd be great." He struggled lifting the huge weapon that was obviously out of proportion to his built.

The minions roared again and before we knew it, all of them were running at us, their heavy steps rocking the earth. I immediately pulled the trigger, letting out a huge burst of flames from the barrel and setting the first wave of donuts on fire.

But then the others behind leapt over them and pushed forward.

"I got this!" Courtney stood by my side and aimed her churro blaster and shot at them, sending explosive clouds of cinnamon at their faces and knocking them down.

I ran around the group, finger still on the trigger and aiming at the ground, creating a ring of fire around us and temporarily holding them at bay. The flames burned bright orange, and we felt the heat of it on our skins.

"That's not gonna hold them off much longer." Olivia said, running at the flames upon seeing a Boston cream donut run past it. She gripped the celery sword tightly and swung, letting the sharp edge slice the mutant open spouting cream from the open wound. "We fight our way out."

Keith armed himself and cocked the taquito gun. The weapon let out a hum that grew louder each waiting moment, "Come at me, you donut pricks. Come and say hello to my little-" A huge ball of molten cheese blasted out of the barrel before he could finish his sentence. The sudden burst sent him flying to the opposite direction.

The cheese ball exploded upon on the donuts, trapping them in a hot sticky mess that glued them to the ground.

Then more ran through the fire, three giant armless maple bar donut. Their fiery red eyes glowed as they surrounded us and prepared to deliver their deadly body slam on us.

Noah leapt in front of us, "NO YOU FUCKING DON'T!" He yelled, now being able to lift the hammer high enough from the ground for him to swing at the toppling monster. He let out a struggled wimpy cry as he swooshed the weapon.

The impact between the hammer and the donut made a loud bang, with the mutant exploding into pieces. Noah spun on the spot, then brought the hammer to a complete stop. Meanwhile, the four of us had our mouths hanging open as pieces of pastry rained down on us, all of us having a surprised expression dashed across our faces.

The skinny man glanced at us and raised an eyebrow, "What?" He shrugged, confused, "Is my fly down?" He asked worriedly, looking down at his pants.

I was knocked back into my senses when the flames started to extinguish, "Alright, back to business."

"We have to move." Courtney said, brushing up her messy blonde hair, "Shayne, burn down the section of minions near the exit, I'll cover you. Keith, blast the others behind. And Olivia and Noah, when they get close, do not hesitate to engage."

We all prepared ourselves, waiting for the fire to go out.

"This is so cool!" Noah squealed, "It's like _Food Battle: The Game_ in real life!"

"It's not cool when you can only die once!" Keith retorted.

"Stay together!" I said, bringing the four next to me forming a circle with our backs pressed against each other.

It suddenly felt like time slowed down as the last flames of the barrier were put out by the donuts, more of them surrounded us and charged, roaring and growling as they advanced. Courtney's voice echoed, screaming, "NOW!"

Loud explosions erupted from their weapons blasting the attacking enemies back. I joined them, setting them ablaze. Some got past, but was soon dealt with by Olivia and Noah hammer. All of them came from different directions, but we pushed forwards and marched towards the entrance of the maze-like passageway formed by stacks of wooden crates.

Donut guts and bullets were flying everywhere, the fire from my flamethrower grew bigger as we had just got inside the entrance.

"Keith, seal the entrance!" Courtney yelled. Keith aimed for the foot of the crates nearest to the entrance and fired, blowing it to bits and causing the boxes above to topple over and prevent the minions from pursuing.

I sighed in relief and caught our breaths only to see them climb over the wreckage.

"Oh shit, I forgot, they can climb." I pulled on Noah's and Courtney's shirt, "Run."

We sprinted, hearing the loud stomping of the pursuers grow louder. Our shoes squeaked against the damp floor, and it made running from them tougher.

"SHAYNE, DUCK!" Olivia bellowed, I ducked immediately but was able to catch a glimpse of a pink frosted sprinkled donut jump from the wall to me. Olivia slashed, dividing the mutant in half.

"Thanks!" I got back up to my feet and kept running, looking up at the towering crate walls for any more donuts.

"Follow the flares!" Noah instructed, pointing at the red flares on the ground Keith had left earlier.

Courtney took the lead, holding her churro blaster up and shooting down any intercepting minions that jumped in front of us. Noah was by her side, smacking others she had missed.

"GO GO GO!" I shouted, staying at the back firing at the pursuers behind us.

Then something huge lunged on me, throwing me to the side making me drop my weapon and casting it aside. It was a mint frosted sprinkled donut. It pinned me down on the ground, roaring loudly in my face. I felt the air being squeezed out of my lungs, the mutant was using its heavy weight to crush me.

I reached for my chili flamethrower as it was just mere inches away from me, within reach of my fingers but not close enough for me to get a solid grip.

The mint frosting dripped down, covering me in stick but cool sugary topping. I stared into the monster's red eyes as it laughed, mocking me.

"GET. THE FUCK. OFF OF ME!" I used my feet and kicked it off me. I quickly got up to my feet and spotted the chili under the monster's legs.

I slid on the wet floor and dived under the donut, grabbing the weapon as I passed under. I hit the crate behind it but was able to quickly recover from it. Then something pulled on my weapon, another donut had joined in, trying to pry the flamethrower from my grasp.

"LET GO!" I shrieked, pulling on the trigger and showering the enemy in flames. It wailed and its burnt pastry hands detached from its torso, still holding onto my weapon.

My feet spun me around the spot to face the other mint donut only to see a small burrito bury into the monster's body. I hastily took cover upon hearing beeps from the spot where the burrito hit.

KABOOM!

The donut was no more. The four came to my aid. _Just in time_.

"You alright?" Courtney helped me stand up.

"Yeah." I groaned, brushing the ashes of the donut from my shirt, "What took you so long?"

"Nevermind that, we have to get out of here now! Those things aren't giving up soon!" She ushered us to run.

"Make a right here!" Keith told us, looking down at the smoking flares on the floor that gave him a sense of bearing. Then he suddenly stopped, his shoes screeched against the floor.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked as she peeked over his shoulder to look up front. At the end of the long corridor, were piles of toppled crates blocking the way leading to a dead end. To make matters worse, there were more hordes of donuts waiting for us.

"Shit." Courtney sighed, "What do we do now? There's no other way out."

"There is." I interjected, grabbing her waist and lifting her to a wall where I spotted a chain dangling from the ceiling. "The only way out is _up_!"

She grabbed the thick rusty chain and began pulling herself up the wall of wooden crates. At the same exact moment, the donuts charged, both from behind and in front.

"Olivia, you're next!" I said, offering his hands for her to step on and reach up.

"Hurry, guys!" Keith bellowed, fighting off the incoming enemies trying to hold them off a little longer. Noah and Keith started to retreat where I was as the wave of minions closed in.

"Stand back!" Noah yelled, lifting up his weapon overhead, screaming at the top of his lungs as he smashed the hammer on the ground cracking the floor and sending powerful shockwaves throughout and knocking the donuts out of balance. "Huh, didn't know that would work."

"Let's move!" I ordered, motioning for the two of them. Keith was the third person I got up the chain. I glanced back at the minions to see them getting up to their feet once again.

"Noah, here, take my gun and get up there. I'll hold your hammer for you." I handed him my flamethrower and we exchanged weapons. The I gave him a boost to reach the line as the radius between me and the donuts grew smaller.

"SHAYNE, COME ON!" Courtney screamed, shooting at the enemies closing in on me.

Keith was firing as well, "GO! WE GOT YOU COVERED!"

I tightly held onto Noah's heavy hammer then jumped from the ground. I seized the rusty chain in my hand and ended up dangling at least four feet from the ground, away from the mutants. Then a jelly donut grabbed on my foot. I screamed, feeling my arms straining from the weight but still hanging on for dear life to avoid being swarmed by the minions.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I snarled, kicking the claw grabbing on my shoe. When things couldn't get any worse, it did.

I was losing my grip.

I struggled to hold on, but more of them jumped and tried pulling me back down. But then the others came to my aid once more, showering them with cinnamon and cheese. They finally let go and I was able to climb up. Noah and Olivia pulled me up, I was almost depleted of all my strength as I collapsed on top of the crates at the feet of my friends.

"Fuck, that was scary." I mumbled, willing myself to stand back up and look over the edge. The monsters were climbing up the wall, "Let's move, those fuckers aren't gonna give up unless we get outta here." I breathed, returning the egg roll hammer to Noah.

I took the lead, navigating our way out of the facility balancing on top of the boxes that only provided us a two feet wide space walkway with a sheer drop both sides and a bunch of angry minions waiting.

"Stay together." I instructed, spotting the exit in front of us just past a huge gap. The air was filled with flying jelly being shot from the donuts down below aimed at us.

"SHAYNE!" Noah screamed, he was at the rear end of the group. The crates behind him collapsed, and the one beneath his feet started to shake.

"GO!" I sprinted on the unstable platform, with the others following as the stacks toppled over column by column behind us.

Donut mutants also crawled up the side making the way out more unstable and shake violently, but I burned through their limbs as we fought our way trough. When I reached the end of it, I stopped, almost falling into the gap.

The others were cramped behind me, "Keith, shoot that crate at the bottom." I said, pointing to the column across us. Keith shot at it, blowing it up into debris. My mind raced from all the chaos that unfolded. I was praying that my plan would work.

The column with the destroyed lower crate tipped over towards us creating a stair-like structure that bypassed the gap and led to the exit.

"YES!" I cheered.

I helped the others down first before myself and we dashed all the way outside, the light of the midday sun blinded us as we were finally out of that hell hole. I ran back to the door and slammed it close, finally sealing the donuts inside. My body suddenly felt like jelly, all of us were exhausted from the encounter.

BANG! A large bump appeared on the door.

"Get to the car!" Courtney bellowed, running to the van.

Then a pink frosted sprinkled donut lunged at her from behind the trash bin. She screamed, the donut tackled her to the ground. Courtney punched its face but its giant claws held her arms like cuffs.

"COURTNEY!" I shrieked.

The donut glared at us before ripping off the burrito bomb bandolier from Courtney. It then let her go and suddenly took off without fighting us.

I ran to her and helper up, she was shaken but otherwise unharmed except for red marks on her wrists were he donut held her. "Are you alright?"

"I-I-I'm fine." She grabbed my arm and I subconsciously carried her in my arms. She was trembling, but didn't seem to mind me carrying her as she was drained from energy as well.

Strangely enough, the other pursuing donuts had also gone as we could no longer hear pounding on the door.

"Wh-what the fuck just happened?" Olivia asked, her mouth agape.

I shook my head, unable to believe it myself, "I dunno, but we gotta tell Ian and Anthony about this."


End file.
